OMG It’s HOT! Last summer was a scorcher and it looks like this year won’t be any better. Just in case you having trouble recognizing the signs, we put the following list together.

You know it’s Hot When…

  • You need a spatula to remove yourself from that lounge chair.
  • Hot water comes out of both taps.
  • You volunteer for overtime because your work is air-conditioned.
  • The vegetables from your garden are already cooked when you pick them.
  • The birds are using potholders to pulls worms from the ground.
  • You burn your fingers when you unzip your jeans.
  • Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
  • Cows are giving evaporated milk.
  • Your car overheats before you start it.
  • Your shoes stick to the asphalt when you cross the parking lot.
  • You look forward to visiting your Mother-in-law in Alaska.

It’s way too freakin’ hot. What do you do about it? [more]

Best Ways to Keep Cool This Summer

  • Run through neighbor’s lawn sprinkler naked.
  • Set up a lawn chair in the frozen food department at Wal-Mart.
  • Start a water balloon fight with your kids.
  • Hang out in the produce section when the spritzers go off.
  • Pull open the nearest manhole cover and go rafting down the storm drains.
  • Toss your pillow in the freezer for an hour before bedtime.
  • Use 5 plastic garbage bags, duct tape and a garden hose to make a redneck Slip-n-Slide.
  • Grab yourself an ice cold beer and relax on the couch.
  • Shop in the air-conditioned comfort of the Jamin’ Leather superstore in Myrtle Beach.
  • Shop naked with a fan.